If You Are Not For Me...

You are against me...

This has been resonating in my mind and heart so much lately. Not so much about myself, though I do see parallels in my own life that suggest this may be true in many arenas...but in God's domain it absolutely carries weight.

I have been taken on an ever deepening journey these past few weeks. I have been led to read many books by prophets, visionaries and intellectuals (books of the Bible as well as Christian books interlaced with much scripture). I am finding more and more that there really is only One Truth. On top of that, I am clearly seeing God's justice and mercy as the two edged sword of His Word. As I am coming to a clearer undestanding of His truths, I am sensing how easily we can grieve His Spirit; we are in constant rebellion - especially in the little things. I find myself seeking God all day long, much more naturally and without cognizant planning, but as I draw nearer, I am finding more clearly how quickly some of my choices can take me away from hearing, or even desiring to listen and obey. Even simple choices, like when to stop eating the sweets and treats that have surrounded me during the holidays. I am a sucker for junk food, and tend to be quite disciplined by the grace of God alone. When I start eating sweets, I lose that discipline so quickly; once I begin to feed my fleshly appetites, they rear up with boldness.

God has been speaking to me about His Majesty ~ His Almighty, Everlasting, Beyond our Imagining, POWER, GRACE, LOVE, MERCY. I have become saddened by how we so often fail to give Him the reverence He desires and deserves. We so quickly limit who God is and box Him in to fit our own vision or understanding. HE is so much more than we can grasp! We are often complacent, even as faithful Christians, in our faith journey...picking and choosing what we will listen to from His Word rather than seeking His Word for all things in our lives. Before I sound legalistic, I want to say that I do understand that we are called to listen and follow God's plan for our inner transformation as He has the timing and purpose of each step; this is not what I am speaking about. I learned my lesson long ago that He needed to convict me of changes He was seeking in my life, that I might repent and He might transform. At that time I was driving myself crazy trying to be what I understood He wanted (from His Word) rather than resting in Him. However, there are many things that we could do to stay on path with God, "continuing to work out our salvation with fear and trembling."

The main thing God has shown me is that we must learn what it means to really REVERE HIM. He alone is Holy and He alone is Worthy. We often take for granted that He has given us His Holy Spirit, to dwell within us under the New Covenant in Christ (rather than His dwelling in the Tabernacle or Temple). Our bodies are now each His temple...but are we actually preparing a place where Holiness can reside? In the Old Testament, God's glory never descended until the locations He chose were ordered by His design, and prepared Holy to His specification - down to the last detail. I have to ask myself, am I choosing to live a holy and obedient life in my mind and heart? Do I make sure to consecrate my temple so that the Holy Spirit can dwell within? What fellowship has darkness with light? And holiness with that which is unholy? The Israelites feared speaking to God face to face for the understanding that they would die due to their unholiness. Are we missing the power of the Lord in our lives in this day because we have made common what is holy ~ reverence and worship for our Creator and King? How often do we recall that not only is Jesus our Savior, but also our LORD? How set apart are we?

Each choice I make will either draw me closer to God, or closer to the world. We are called to be in the world, but not of it. How often I become of the world while walking within it. How often I excuse simple sins and assume that it is okay because I am forgiven by Christ and I truly Love the Lord. Is this right?? I just bought a book about this very issue, I can't recall the title but it has something to do with "acceptable sins." But is any sin acceptable in light of God's holiness?

I have been learning to ask myself, do I love Christ as Logos ~ an intellectual pursuit and understanding of His Word, or do I love Him because of Rhema ~ a heart rendered divinely revealed understanding of who He is...the great I AM. I believe we need to love Him as both, but I also equally believe that we cannot truly say that we love Him without having experienced divine revelation of Him in our hearts. And, if we don't have divine revelation in our hearts, is He really our Lord and Savior?

This comes to me as this vision; Have we come to stand at the foot of the cross, where the blood Christ shed for us has dripped down upon us, covering us as it had been sprinkled on the mercy seat each year in the Holy, Holy, Holy? Have we seen the agony and love in His precious face and understood how broken and fallen we are in this world, ever grateful and thankful for His incredible gift of love and mercy ~ despite our darkness...or, do we continue to stand at a distance and watch Him upon that cross, understanding the sacrifice but not being close enough to have our hearts pierced by the truth and depth of what has been given...unable to fall upon our faces for lack of understanding...

When I was a younger Christian, a lady told me that people were either for God or for Satan. She said it was black and white. I argued with her about this ~ it really angered and offended me at that time. As I have come to understand the spiritual battle that rages, and the search God has on earth for men he can use who will be completely for Him, I understand that the words she spoke were truth. Am I for God, or am I for myself? It is a tough question. Intellectually and in my heart I am absolutely, unequivocably, FOR God with all that I am. I pray this in earnest daily. However, as I continue my journey of refinement and renewal, I realize how far I am from living this truth. I see how this is not acted out in all of my choices, thoughts and actions. I am shown how often I am not for Him in how I choose to behave, react, or think. It is so clear how desperately we truly need our Savior. Blessedly, He knows me better than I know myself, and understands this aspect of my life. However, the choice to will it is entirely my own. God is a gentleman and will never go where He is not invited, nor will He overpower my will, even if I ask Him to, if something is really not yet released "for Him."

I pray this year, 2008, I may grow more and more FOR our precious Lord with each and every thought, action, and step forward in my life. I pray all who read this post grow more and more in their own intimacy with God and that His Rhema may pierce their souls ~ May He Bless you all through this New Year.