Precious Time

I have been blessed to be allowed to homeschool my 11 year old daughter again this year.  She is the child whom God gave me specifically ~ to both reach her heart when it would crumple, and to work in me more patience, understanding and temperance as I strive to understand her way of thinking and relating to the world, which is so very foreign to mine.

Today we are in another time of push and pull, though it is more peaceful.  The rebellion of youth came to a head a few weeks ago ~ with backtalk, eye rolling and the like coming at me in response to nearly every word I spoke.  While I have often been willing to understand her impulsive speech challenges (as I have some of those, myself), I cannot allow blatant disrespect nor habitual independence from instructions given by mom (aka: authority that is loving, therefore to be ignored in her mind). 

I hate having to "parent hard."  I would much prefer talking to my kids and having them "get it." Why can't we all just get along and be loving is a persistent thought in my head.  However, with this one ~ when I give an inch of concession, a yard is most often stolen.  When I crack down lightly, obedience is not maintained. So, once again I needed to get tough and play bad guy; *sigh* staying tight, firm, and consistent (anyone with kids knows how incredibly tough that task can be). 

What a joy it has been to see her starting to "get it" this time around.  After consistent discipline (aka: loss of many privileges for about three weeks stemming from correction for every incident of "backtalk," regardless  of how strong or slight) I have seen some improvements. Today we lost the privilege of attending a birthday party tomorrow because of lack of willingness to do what we were supposed to related to morning school work (half-way approach versus diligence)...that was a tough one...however, once the tears were finished, and she knew I wasn't budging, she complied with the need to call and cancel her participation.

Oh, the trials of shaping character in children ~ I often wonder if the parents hurt as much (if not more) as the children during this process.  I am thankful that not all of my children are the same, and likely I will not have to resort to such extremes with the other two, but I am also prayerful that my eldest will soon rise up to grasp the full picture, that she might integrate it into her spirit and become the beautiful lady God created her to be. Still a pistol, still uniquely creative and gregarious, but obedient and blessed by boundaries that provide us a cocoon from which to live.

Although I am sure we have much more to accomplish in this current pre-teen behavior, I am certain that without the opportunity to be home with her each day, this growing period would have been so much harder to nip in the bud. For that, I say a hearty Thank You, Lord, for the daily lessons You provide, and the opportunities to grow as we nurture and train our children.