All day I have been musing about LOVE...
What is love? Is it tangible? Is it cards, gifts and thoughtful guestures? Is it being there for someone in a crisis? Is it holding someone in prayer when they cannot pray themselves? Is is gathering many to surround the broken in fellowship and support?
There are so many facets to love; it is precious as a diamond, equally transparent, and hidden.
But to break it all down into simplicity ~ to Love is to Give
Give of time,
Give of heart,
Give of money,
Give of thought,
Give when we don't want to or have other things we'd prefer to do...
It was defined best in John 3:16: "For God so LOVED the world, that He GAVE..."
Thank you, Lord, for modeling to us the ultimate sacrifice of giving ~ God gave that which He treasured most, and that which held his heart. Bless you, our incredible God in Heaven. We are so richly undeserving, and richly blessed beyond measure.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Birthdays #2
Our third birthday celebration since late January occured in mid-February (we celebrated my father-in-law's between the two girls). Michelle finally flipped in to double digits, and she couldn't be happier.
I praise the Lord for every opportunity He provides to bring unity to this family. May He bless and keep Michelle's daddy and draw him ever near. Thank You, dear Jesus, for all you do for us.
On the kids' birthdays, I like to affirm their uniqueness and special place in my heart. I decorate the kitchen the night before, get all the gifts out from family and place them on the table, and then I either bring a card downstairs to wake them with or I do something similar. This year I taped a written note to Michelle's door, facing inward (she has windows on her door) so she could see it when she got up to come upstairs. This is what I shared:
Dearest Michelle…Shelly…Mish…Ma Belle…Mishelly…Shell…Mishka…
May you always know how deeply you are LOVED by God and your family
On your tenth birthday, here are 10 absolute truths for you:
You are a child of God and He has bestowed His great love on you (Galatians 3:26, 4:6, Romans 8:14-15, 1 John 3:1)
Christ has accepted you (Romans 15:7)
You have been given the Mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16)
You are a temple of God; His Spirit lives in you (1 Cor 3:16, 6:19)
You are blessed with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3)
Christ Himself is in you (Colossians 1:27)
You have been made complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10)
You are a child of light and not of darkness (1 Thess. 5:5)
You are one with Christ, He is not ashamed to call you His (Hebrews 2:11)
You are part of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation…a people of God’s own possession (1 Peter 2:9-10)
And 10 of the things that make you neat to know…
Your tender and gentle spirit
Your heart’s compassion for others
Your willingness to try and try again, despite many challenges and unsuccessful times with learning
Your wish to be organized and efficient, and understand what all that means, despite your body and mind not cooperating
Your quick grin and quicker mind
Your eagerness to share new things you have learned
Your love of critters, bugs, and outdoor things
Your desire to contribute fun to others’ life experiences
Your acceptance of everyone, regardless of others’ judgments
Your passionate stance for what you believe in
Sweet Michelle, You are a treasure beyond compare. I know I don’t daily express this to you, but I pray that your heart experiences its truth.
Happy, Happy Birthday…I look forward to the rest of your life’s journey.
One of the greatest blessings to her this year was that her dad was willing to come join her in our family birthday celebration (we had a girl party on a different day, but we always have a family dinner on the actual birthday, with the birthday person planning the menu). Bo was scheduled to be out of town for training. Because he was gone, he suggested we invite Michelle's dad to join the celebration (her dad is not yet comfortable being around her stepdad in close quarters).
He came and share a few hours with our family. She was thrilled (he even gave some of his time to work on this computer, as I mentioned below ~ I was so grateful). I was happy to be able to shower her with blessings. He was even gracious with Rosie who kept climbing into his lap to "see" what Michelle was opening when she opened her presents next to her dad. Here is a picture of Michelle, her dad, and her sister. 
I praise the Lord for every opportunity He provides to bring unity to this family. May He bless and keep Michelle's daddy and draw him ever near. Thank You, dear Jesus, for all you do for us.
Birthdays #1
We have been celebrating many birthdays over the past few weeks. The first was for my youngest daughter, Rose. Her birthday was in January. Here is her picture; she is very proud to be four:
In my home, I don't host kiddie parties until the kids begin to ask for one. I figure that it isn't important until they want a celebration with their friends. We did have a family dinner and invited the neighbors (and their five kids, so it was a full house) who have a son that is one of Rose's "best friends." Here is how she talks "Mommy, can we invite Miss Ginny (Johnny's mom, used to be daycare provider for Rose) and my best friend Johnny to my birthday party?" It is so sweet. She tends to call everyone her best friend when she talks about them in a format that involves sharing time. I love that about her. She considers everyone "best" ~ I think God even suggests that we keep this in mind at all times as well.
So, since her big day, she has continually asked "Mommy, am I still four today?" I am not sure if she desires to be five, or is afraid she will lose her four status...she frequently talks about her next birthday when she will be five and gets to go to school with her big sisters, so she is probably hopeful that time will accelerate somehow. She still hasn't quite understood how a birthday comes on the same day each year, and that the year in between has to happen before the birthday arrives. We are working on that. :-)
So, to my precious Rosie bigosie ~ bless you sweet child. May God's grace shine down upon you, may your face be lifted up to His, may this year fill your heart with more of His blessings and grace that you never know a day without our Lord. I love you, my treasured gift.
In my home, I don't host kiddie parties until the kids begin to ask for one. I figure that it isn't important until they want a celebration with their friends. We did have a family dinner and invited the neighbors (and their five kids, so it was a full house) who have a son that is one of Rose's "best friends." Here is how she talks "Mommy, can we invite Miss Ginny (Johnny's mom, used to be daycare provider for Rose) and my best friend Johnny to my birthday party?" It is so sweet. She tends to call everyone her best friend when she talks about them in a format that involves sharing time. I love that about her. She considers everyone "best" ~ I think God even suggests that we keep this in mind at all times as well.
So, since her big day, she has continually asked "Mommy, am I still four today?" I am not sure if she desires to be five, or is afraid she will lose her four status...she frequently talks about her next birthday when she will be five and gets to go to school with her big sisters, so she is probably hopeful that time will accelerate somehow. She still hasn't quite understood how a birthday comes on the same day each year, and that the year in between has to happen before the birthday arrives. We are working on that. :-)
So, to my precious Rosie bigosie ~ bless you sweet child. May God's grace shine down upon you, may your face be lifted up to His, may this year fill your heart with more of His blessings and grace that you never know a day without our Lord. I love you, my treasured gift.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Troubles with simple things...
I had some difficulty with my previous post; I was trying to get the paragraphs to read as paragraphs, but somehow they kept running together no matter what I tried to do to rectify the situation. I wish I understood the HTML and could fix it. I am going to bed now. If you have experienced this problem, please share. I have had this happen before, but have no idea what it is and how to correct it after it occurs. :-)
Blessings to all.
Blessings to all.
Family photo op..
Okay, now that I have completed 1/2 the birthdays in our house, I am nearly done with "frantic" pace of life and will be posting again soon. I have been having some wonderful times that I would love to share, but haven't found time to sit at the computer (except to fix it). I can hardly believe it has been a year since I began this blog. I am doing better staying with it this time. :-)
Last August I posted about waking Michelle (my now ten year old) to observe an eclipse of the moon ~ it was glorious. Just last week, I woke her again (this time at ten fifteen p.m. instead of four a.m., which was a bit easier) and we snuggled out back to watch this year's eclipse. What a great experience. While I was sitting next to her on our chair, wrapped in two blankets and a warm coat, I remembered why I do not enjoy night skiing. I kept covering my mouth and nose to stay warm, then taking the blanket away when she asked questions or I wanted to share something...Each time I moved the blanket away from my mouth, I had a visual memory of trying to breathe through the ice encrusted scarf I often use to cover my face to keep wram while riding up a mountain on a ski lift...not a pretty picture.
Bo (my dear husband) LOVES to ski...anytime, anywhere, and has wanted to go on a Saturday evening a couple of times this year. I used to love to ski, too (even used to wonder, as a kid, why my mom didn't like skiing..I think I know now), but as I have aged I have gotten more acutely aware of the cold and really just don't like it, especially at night. It is tolerable during the day, but just really tough for me at night. It is hard to see and way too cold on the lifts. I am even a "good" skier. I love to ski in Colorado; but there it is warm while you are skiing...Virginia weather is pure chill when there is snow enough to enjoy the mountain.
Anyway, I had been witholding pics and names over the past year to protect the innocent until I got approval from my former husband. He has now okayed my posting so I am get to share a photo of my kids from last year's fun snow/ice time (this year we have had lots of the ice, but not much snow). I actually blogged about this ice storm (it came right after a snow storm) last year, on February 23rd. It is almost a "one year anniversary" day :-).
This photo was taken of a photo, so it isn't really clear. I was using my mother in laws disposable camera trying to capture the fun the kids were having playing outside. They had just finished their "penguin surfing" contests. They couldn't sled really well with the icy crust on the snow, so they would try to run some, then dive on the snow/ice and slide on their bellies down the small hill, seeing who could slide the farthest. It looked dangerous so made me a bit nervous (lots of broken bones on the ice reported locally), but they were having so much fun...
Praying that the flurries I drove through tonight might bring with them some real snow this year. I miss the snow. Ice just doesn't do the weather justice (cold and ice, brrr...cold and snow, fun fun fun). :-) However, they have barely had a full week of school since Christmas due to weather related closings, so I guess it would be best to wait until March for a really good snow; maybe 12 inches of white around the fifteenth??...:-) We have had such before in Virginia. I'll keep you posted...
Monday, February 18, 2008
Computers...UGH!
Technology is something else ~ very good, but also very frustrating for those of us who live in the perimeters of understanding...
My husband and I stepped up from dial up to cable modem recently. Part of the hesitation, aside from the obvious financial difference, was my fear of not being able to transfer the data and keep our Outlook/Explorer programs working. I knew things would need to be reconfigured, and was concerned that in the process I would lose everything. I had done this twice before (lost all things...but due to a virus, not changes/upgrades) and was intimidated by my lack of knowledge. Bo uses the computer even less than I do, basically just for email, so together we are not techno-savvy. Our kids are also too young to have the background yet.
Anyway, we embraced the faster internet service at the end of January following a few months of discussion, and an appealing offer from Comcast. We disconnected our dial up connection service ten days later. I thought everything had been finally debugged.
Over the past two weeks, we have had intermittent service. Sometimes we had to reconfigure everything, other times we had to reboot to get it working. We were primarily able to get online through Internet Explorer versus Outlook. We often had to check our accounts through the comcast website, if we got online at all. This left me somewhat nutty without my contacts and other things, but it was functional. We have also had some people tell us they got emails bounced back to them during this process. Bill Little, a dear friend from church, came over and spent an hour or more, on two occasions, with much the same results we had been getting on our own...sometimes it worked, sometimes did not. He tried to give us a secondary access through a laptop of his, but our computer would not read it. His diagnosis - our computer was too archaic (we are running on a 386...yes, for those of you who know, 486 was the first that had any pentium processing...). I thought to agree, but still thought we could get it working since sometimes it did work. I rationalized that it wouldn't have worked at all if it was the computer.
My former husband (Steve) then offered his help. He is a network engineer at the Pentagon, so I figured surely he could do this. This man is a genius with computers (not kidding; it is a true and incredible gifting). He worked on it the evening of our daugter's birthday gathering (and thought he had it working when he left). I called him the next morning to ask some questions since I couldn't get online again. He came back the next day and spent an hour or more of his time trying to fix it. He finally gave up as well. His diagnosis ~ this is intermittent, there is nothing I can do. Call Comcast. (He was astounded that we had Windows XP running on this computer, so figured it wasn't the comuputer since that was working, he thought it might be in the modem).
Comcast came the next morning. They got the same results we had all been getting. Good ip addresses at all times, able to get online while they were here, and didn't see anything "wrong" even though we couldn't get my desktop email program to work. The guy from Comcast actually consistently got online through Internet Explorer (neither Bill, Steve, nor myself had been able to do that). Of course, right after he left, I couldn't get online again (despite the fact that the icon at the bottom of my monitor showed a good cable connection, as it had for two weeks). I was SOOO frustrated.
In prayer I remembered a couple of comments from Steve and the Comcast representative about my computer. The Ethernet Adapter is connected through a USB port. Steve thought the USB converter might be buggy, the fella from Comcast thought it might be the port and had suggested I look behind the computer for another port. I got down on my belly and looked at the port and converter. During our past life together, Steve had labeled one of the two ports on the front of the desktop "10." The converter had "10/100 Fast Ethernet" written on the front. I put two and two together, and moved the plug over to the previously labeled port (mind you, it fit in the port it was in, and this port had been used for other USB devices).
Guess what?! No problems since that time. Praise God! Bo and I were about ready to "go buy a computer NOW" to get life smoothed out again. I do work from home at times, and this has been really upsetting to me because of the amount of time I "wasted" working on configuring and reconfiguring things each day just so I could get online to my work. I even went to the library one day to do my work. It was becoming an agitation. It is awful to know that we are so dependent upon our computer. I am glad I don't do my banking online, too.
Now we can wait and do some research before buying a new computer at a reasonable price, which we had been talking about purchasing after taxes. Phew. I am eager to get a new computer, after all, we do have one that could stand many upgrades. However, I hate buying when somewhat desperate as that is rarely prudent. This recent glitch has just served to prove to us that our plan to upgrade this spring really is a wise one and not just selfish.
Thank God for all our helpers, thanks falso or the opportunity for me to see that I really am not as illiterate as I thought for troubleshooting (though I did have a few major boo boos while doing it, Steve fixed those for me so they weren't irreperable). I am prayful that all is smooth again, though will not rest fully easily for a few days...may this recent thing that WORKED be the final fix.
Blessings on your day. :-)
My husband and I stepped up from dial up to cable modem recently. Part of the hesitation, aside from the obvious financial difference, was my fear of not being able to transfer the data and keep our Outlook/Explorer programs working. I knew things would need to be reconfigured, and was concerned that in the process I would lose everything. I had done this twice before (lost all things...but due to a virus, not changes/upgrades) and was intimidated by my lack of knowledge. Bo uses the computer even less than I do, basically just for email, so together we are not techno-savvy. Our kids are also too young to have the background yet.
Anyway, we embraced the faster internet service at the end of January following a few months of discussion, and an appealing offer from Comcast. We disconnected our dial up connection service ten days later. I thought everything had been finally debugged.
Over the past two weeks, we have had intermittent service. Sometimes we had to reconfigure everything, other times we had to reboot to get it working. We were primarily able to get online through Internet Explorer versus Outlook. We often had to check our accounts through the comcast website, if we got online at all. This left me somewhat nutty without my contacts and other things, but it was functional. We have also had some people tell us they got emails bounced back to them during this process. Bill Little, a dear friend from church, came over and spent an hour or more, on two occasions, with much the same results we had been getting on our own...sometimes it worked, sometimes did not. He tried to give us a secondary access through a laptop of his, but our computer would not read it. His diagnosis - our computer was too archaic (we are running on a 386...yes, for those of you who know, 486 was the first that had any pentium processing...). I thought to agree, but still thought we could get it working since sometimes it did work. I rationalized that it wouldn't have worked at all if it was the computer.
My former husband (Steve) then offered his help. He is a network engineer at the Pentagon, so I figured surely he could do this. This man is a genius with computers (not kidding; it is a true and incredible gifting). He worked on it the evening of our daugter's birthday gathering (and thought he had it working when he left). I called him the next morning to ask some questions since I couldn't get online again. He came back the next day and spent an hour or more of his time trying to fix it. He finally gave up as well. His diagnosis ~ this is intermittent, there is nothing I can do. Call Comcast. (He was astounded that we had Windows XP running on this computer, so figured it wasn't the comuputer since that was working, he thought it might be in the modem).
Comcast came the next morning. They got the same results we had all been getting. Good ip addresses at all times, able to get online while they were here, and didn't see anything "wrong" even though we couldn't get my desktop email program to work. The guy from Comcast actually consistently got online through Internet Explorer (neither Bill, Steve, nor myself had been able to do that). Of course, right after he left, I couldn't get online again (despite the fact that the icon at the bottom of my monitor showed a good cable connection, as it had for two weeks). I was SOOO frustrated.
In prayer I remembered a couple of comments from Steve and the Comcast representative about my computer. The Ethernet Adapter is connected through a USB port. Steve thought the USB converter might be buggy, the fella from Comcast thought it might be the port and had suggested I look behind the computer for another port. I got down on my belly and looked at the port and converter. During our past life together, Steve had labeled one of the two ports on the front of the desktop "10." The converter had "10/100 Fast Ethernet" written on the front. I put two and two together, and moved the plug over to the previously labeled port (mind you, it fit in the port it was in, and this port had been used for other USB devices).
Guess what?! No problems since that time. Praise God! Bo and I were about ready to "go buy a computer NOW" to get life smoothed out again. I do work from home at times, and this has been really upsetting to me because of the amount of time I "wasted" working on configuring and reconfiguring things each day just so I could get online to my work. I even went to the library one day to do my work. It was becoming an agitation. It is awful to know that we are so dependent upon our computer. I am glad I don't do my banking online, too.
Now we can wait and do some research before buying a new computer at a reasonable price, which we had been talking about purchasing after taxes. Phew. I am eager to get a new computer, after all, we do have one that could stand many upgrades. However, I hate buying when somewhat desperate as that is rarely prudent. This recent glitch has just served to prove to us that our plan to upgrade this spring really is a wise one and not just selfish.
Thank God for all our helpers, thanks falso or the opportunity for me to see that I really am not as illiterate as I thought for troubleshooting (though I did have a few major boo boos while doing it, Steve fixed those for me so they weren't irreperable). I am prayful that all is smooth again, though will not rest fully easily for a few days...may this recent thing that WORKED be the final fix.
Blessings on your day. :-)
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Hamster Incident
Meet Oliver and Lacy...looking like most calm and peaceful cats... wouldn't hurt a fly, right??....
Meet "cookie" AKA "cheezer...She is absolutely adorable and I have grown to love her. She is sweet and gentle and really tolerant of the children. Unfortunately, she has to learn to be tolerant of adults and cats as well. Last night was the second time she has been terrified by cats because of adult error...
Bo (my dear husband) and I were talking in the kitchen after putting the kids to bed. Suddenly we heard a crashing sound from the back bedrooms. My first instinct was that it was the stool that we fold up and lay against the wall in the kids' bathroom which sometimes slips down, but Bo said "That's the hamster." We ran back to our bedroom and sure enough, it was a sight.
There sat sweet Cookie, climbing the walls of her toppled cage, looking a bit frantic (praise God she was even looking ~ I am so glad He covers for our lack of focus!). The cage had been knocked off our dresser by our stalking cat. He decided that he might be able to break her free, I suppose. Bless her heart.
I took Cookie out and tried to calm her while Bo went and got the vacuum. She was in "flight" mode of the fight or flight reflex. She could not settle down (who could blame her? Sitting there minding her own business when this looming giant prowler comes and starts attacking her cage and actually sends her flying over the ledge for a deep free fall!). I got out her ball and let her run off her nervous energy. That ball circuited the room over and over. There was no stopping in the corners or resting this time ~ just a hamster in a wheel, full tilt without exploration.
When I placed her back in her cage, she dove under her running wheel (we put it down at night so it won't create as much noise and she likes to nestle under it). This reminded me of the day I had heard her pull her wheel down on top of her when the cat was sitting on the dresser next to her cage. I was so impressed with her ingenuity at that time.
We had moved her from our daughter's bedroom to ours because she had difficulty keeping track of safety needs; frequently keeping the cage near the floor in her room, as well as playing with Cookie on her lap while Oliver or Lacy sat nearby. However, we also aren't perfect and obviously forget sometimes to close the door to the bedroom. Oliver has often been curious, but this newly assertive behavior has me concerned (who'd have thought this lazy cat would be so persistent?). I will certainly work to be more diligent of both of us (Bo and I) from now on related to the bedroom door. I mean, when you compare the two critters, who do you think would win??...
All Roads Lead...
To His love letter.
I think this is appropriate for Valentine's Day week ~ God is always good about timing. ;-) I even see the snippet for today is "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every Word of God" (Luke 4:4). Wow (this is to myself, as I had these thoughts to share before logging on...how cool!).
In the past few months, God has put a hunger in me to really know His word in an overview format. For years I have done bible studies; several 32 week, deep studies and many shorter studies ranging from 6 to 12 weeks. In addition, I have read through books of the Bible at different times, for differing reasons. However, I have never actually read the Bible in its entirety. According to one of the classes I studied in, I have read 88% of the Bible (at least, I am not sure how that overlapped with what other things I have read), but I really have not just sat down and read it, as a series of books to absorb.
Since late October, God has had me on the path of reading His Word from front to back (though not necessarily in that order). He has shown me that He wants me to see the forest, and to step back from the trees for awhile. This is good for me, as I have been a tree hugger for quite some time ~ seeking snippets, verses, books, etc. that refreshed and revived me or that He led me to, but not just taking it all in in a relaxed mode. It has been really cool.
Then, during this phase (and no, I cannot read it like many who are "reading the bible in a year" ~ I cannot work that orderly. I read as I feel compelled, and will probably finish by late spring, but am not putting myself into a box to do this, or else I will fail), our Pastor had us doing "homework" in his current expository of the book of Galatians. Homework involved reading Galatians in several different translations. Since we have seven different versions of the Bible at home, I went ahead and read it here rather than using his internet options (though I printed one of them, as well, this past week). I have a harder time reading papers rather than a book for some reason (you can analyze it if you want, I just accept it as one of my quirks). :-) Anyway, as I digress here, I realized that it was a really neat way to hear God speak!! (Thanks, Pastor Scott!). I had different convictions in my Spirit based upon verbage and use of fluency in each different version. No Kidding, each one. I even enjoyed the KJV for a full book for one of the first times I can remember. There really is something to this reading to process versus reading to pull apart.
So, as I am daily reading through the Bible, versus reading and studying in the Bible, God is showing me the gift therein with more clarity and tangible meaning than I have ever before experienced. My areas of emptiness are rising up and becoming more pronounced (I have been having food cravings, with greater clarity as to when they occur than I had noted before) :-) God yearns to be our complete satisfaction. He yearns for us to know Him, to trust Him, and to be filled with Him, that we might grow in our reflection of Him to the world. His delight in us is so incredibly evident in the pages of His word.
I am learning that, despite my relationship with God being close and comfortable, the deeper levels come with intimacy with His word. The Letter He has written to us...with not a word unintended. Imagine that! Not one word that doesn't have meaning ~ oh if I could only speak with such clarity. I have found peace in God, I have found comfort in God, as I mentioned the day I hit my wall, I have found many things in God that have not been shakable...but the constancy of His joy has eluded me. He has shown me the answer, taking me on many roads in three months that all point to the same place ~ the fullness of His love letter, made complete in me. May I continue to be transformed "from glory to glory"(2 Cor 3:18) as I "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Psalm 34:8) Hallelujah!
I think this is appropriate for Valentine's Day week ~ God is always good about timing. ;-) I even see the snippet for today is "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every Word of God" (Luke 4:4). Wow (this is to myself, as I had these thoughts to share before logging on...how cool!).
In the past few months, God has put a hunger in me to really know His word in an overview format. For years I have done bible studies; several 32 week, deep studies and many shorter studies ranging from 6 to 12 weeks. In addition, I have read through books of the Bible at different times, for differing reasons. However, I have never actually read the Bible in its entirety. According to one of the classes I studied in, I have read 88% of the Bible (at least, I am not sure how that overlapped with what other things I have read), but I really have not just sat down and read it, as a series of books to absorb.
Since late October, God has had me on the path of reading His Word from front to back (though not necessarily in that order). He has shown me that He wants me to see the forest, and to step back from the trees for awhile. This is good for me, as I have been a tree hugger for quite some time ~ seeking snippets, verses, books, etc. that refreshed and revived me or that He led me to, but not just taking it all in in a relaxed mode. It has been really cool.
Then, during this phase (and no, I cannot read it like many who are "reading the bible in a year" ~ I cannot work that orderly. I read as I feel compelled, and will probably finish by late spring, but am not putting myself into a box to do this, or else I will fail), our Pastor had us doing "homework" in his current expository of the book of Galatians. Homework involved reading Galatians in several different translations. Since we have seven different versions of the Bible at home, I went ahead and read it here rather than using his internet options (though I printed one of them, as well, this past week). I have a harder time reading papers rather than a book for some reason (you can analyze it if you want, I just accept it as one of my quirks). :-) Anyway, as I digress here, I realized that it was a really neat way to hear God speak!! (Thanks, Pastor Scott!). I had different convictions in my Spirit based upon verbage and use of fluency in each different version. No Kidding, each one. I even enjoyed the KJV for a full book for one of the first times I can remember. There really is something to this reading to process versus reading to pull apart.
So, as I am daily reading through the Bible, versus reading and studying in the Bible, God is showing me the gift therein with more clarity and tangible meaning than I have ever before experienced. My areas of emptiness are rising up and becoming more pronounced (I have been having food cravings, with greater clarity as to when they occur than I had noted before) :-) God yearns to be our complete satisfaction. He yearns for us to know Him, to trust Him, and to be filled with Him, that we might grow in our reflection of Him to the world. His delight in us is so incredibly evident in the pages of His word.
I am learning that, despite my relationship with God being close and comfortable, the deeper levels come with intimacy with His word. The Letter He has written to us...with not a word unintended. Imagine that! Not one word that doesn't have meaning ~ oh if I could only speak with such clarity. I have found peace in God, I have found comfort in God, as I mentioned the day I hit my wall, I have found many things in God that have not been shakable...but the constancy of His joy has eluded me. He has shown me the answer, taking me on many roads in three months that all point to the same place ~ the fullness of His love letter, made complete in me. May I continue to be transformed "from glory to glory"(2 Cor 3:18) as I "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Psalm 34:8) Hallelujah!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
The Idol of Self
I have been seeking God over the past two years to really find a way to decrease "self" and increase Him. It is an incredibly difficult task. Our flesh loves itself. Our desires and preferences seem important as well as harmless to God's plans. But, inevitably, each time I find myself in the wrong place; wrong frame of mind, wrong attitude, wrong words exiting my mouth...it is related to ME. My expectations, wishes, desires, etc. I could justify these easily many of the times. The justifications would be rational and appropriate for "any of us" and all would agree them to be "right." However, God is not any of us. He is altogether different; Holy and Pure. Praise Him.
A friend loaned me a book by A.W. Tozer a couple of weeks ago called "How To Be Filled With the Holy Spirit." She and I had been talking about Spirit and how we could allow more freedom to God's Spirit in our lives (and therefore more power for reaching others with God's love). We traded books (I had just read one that I quite enjoyed and found helpful), but I think hers was the gem. In one chapter, Tozer talks about the problem we have ~ asking the question "Are you sure you want Him to be Lord of your life?" He goes on to say "Are you sure that you want your personality to be taken over by One who will expect obedience to the written and living Word? Are you sure that you ant your personality to be taken over by One who will not tolerate the self sins? For instance, self-love...He will not permit you to indulge self-confidence. Self-righteousness, self-admiration, self-aggrandizement and and self-pity are under the interdiction of God Almighty, and He cannot send His mighty Spirit to possess the heart where these things are."
He went on to share many more great words. It was a wonderful impartation of truth. We so much desire the benefits of God in us, helping, encouraging, counseling, carrying...but we don't always desire to be set apart from the world. I find myself riding the fence on really desiring (e.g. willing above all things) versus thinking desire. My absolute willingness is lacking in many instances; I slip into double-mindedness when things heat up.
Further along in Tozer's book was a second book, with a wonderful testimony by R. Mabel Francis about her experience being filled, and then matured, by God's Holy Spirit. One thing she shared that really spoke to me was this (it was quoted from author Andrew Murray).
"Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is to have not trouble. It is never to be fretted, vexed, irritated, sore or disappointed. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed and despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret. I am at peace as in a deep sea of calmness when all around is in trouble."
Oh, that I could become this way ~ Lord God, may You become my very breath...may I so grow in humility that You may be the only thing in me that is noted...Bless You, Lord God. I recognize how far from humble I am ~ and am reminded about how far down You were willing to come for me...Thank you, Most Holy One. Praise Your Holy Name.
A friend loaned me a book by A.W. Tozer a couple of weeks ago called "How To Be Filled With the Holy Spirit." She and I had been talking about Spirit and how we could allow more freedom to God's Spirit in our lives (and therefore more power for reaching others with God's love). We traded books (I had just read one that I quite enjoyed and found helpful), but I think hers was the gem. In one chapter, Tozer talks about the problem we have ~ asking the question "Are you sure you want Him to be Lord of your life?" He goes on to say "Are you sure that you want your personality to be taken over by One who will expect obedience to the written and living Word? Are you sure that you ant your personality to be taken over by One who will not tolerate the self sins? For instance, self-love...He will not permit you to indulge self-confidence. Self-righteousness, self-admiration, self-aggrandizement and and self-pity are under the interdiction of God Almighty, and He cannot send His mighty Spirit to possess the heart where these things are."
He went on to share many more great words. It was a wonderful impartation of truth. We so much desire the benefits of God in us, helping, encouraging, counseling, carrying...but we don't always desire to be set apart from the world. I find myself riding the fence on really desiring (e.g. willing above all things) versus thinking desire. My absolute willingness is lacking in many instances; I slip into double-mindedness when things heat up.
Further along in Tozer's book was a second book, with a wonderful testimony by R. Mabel Francis about her experience being filled, and then matured, by God's Holy Spirit. One thing she shared that really spoke to me was this (it was quoted from author Andrew Murray).
"Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is to have not trouble. It is never to be fretted, vexed, irritated, sore or disappointed. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed and despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret. I am at peace as in a deep sea of calmness when all around is in trouble."
Oh, that I could become this way ~ Lord God, may You become my very breath...may I so grow in humility that You may be the only thing in me that is noted...Bless You, Lord God. I recognize how far from humble I am ~ and am reminded about how far down You were willing to come for me...Thank you, Most Holy One. Praise Your Holy Name.
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