First Birthdays

Okay, this is an old picture, but the first one I grabbed in my stacks of "to save to cd so I can use the floppy again" ...I am archaic in what I use. I am trying to indulge my nine year old's desire for my page to be more interesting.

This is Rose at her first birthday (Jan 2005) eating her "rosebud" cake (well, banana bread with a rosebud iced onto it). Now I can officially say I have posted a photo. :-)

Easy on the eyes

I am playing with my template background - I found the other quite boring and not as easy to keep eyes upon. My daughter, looking at it with me, commented on the lack of pictures. I WILL get pictures posted as my life evolves forward. I have a few things to do before I figure this out...I used to be fairly blog literate, but have forgotten much of what I had learned when running my other sites in the past (if we don't use it...). Anyway, I was trying to play with the colors a bit - was unable to be exactly what I liked - but thought this was pretty good. Let me know what you think!

Questions and Answers

I was weeding through my old document files, cleaning up my computer a bit, and I came across this Q&A from my previous blog (this was two or three years ago, but answers still apply). I had fun with it then, and thought it might be enjoyed again now ~ my friend Wendy had a blog (she says she has not been on it in nearly a year so I won't link to her) and she had a time where she asked questions of her blog friends to have them answer on her site - fun and thought provoking questions based upon what she knew about each person. Some of you reading have asked me a few questions, so I thought sharing this might be helpful. :-)

1. Your life is rooted in your faith in God. What are 3 things that lead you here?

We are all seeking to fill that "empty space" (that God created within us which longs for Him). In seeking fullness, we try relationships, satisfying or validating work, drinking or other drugs, sex, busyness, adrenaline games, toys...all sorts of things - but each of these, even the best relationships, are not fully filling and do not lead to peace and contentment in all circumstances. I have filled myself with many of these “addictions” to find meaning. They all eventually led to a feeling of isolation at some point. Authentic faith in God (e.g. a relationship with Him) never has. I know this now as I have been full circle.

I have explored all angles of new age beliefs, various religions, metaphysics, healing modalities, psychic pathways, etc. Not one of them were rooted in truth that held firm through all circumstances, nor did they effectively provide me with absolutes, life changing answers, or ways out of difficult times. The only thing that has truly effected lasting change from the inside out, which I can access any time when I truly desire to, has been Christ, his Spirit, and His truths. I have grown peaceful, joyful, and more content since beginning to deepen my Christian faith walk in such a profound way that even the worst events in my life, which have been many, have proved to be character forming and beneficial. I am truly grateful for them all.

Finally, I will have to say (and I never thought I would say this, but it is so true) that studying/reading God’s Word has been the most profound aspect of my final “conversion” into absolute sold out Christianity. After taking classes in so many areas (disciple classes as well as classes in new age venues), I have learned the truth about the “living Word” – the Bible has been trialed by fire and never disproven. Historically all of what is written has been documented and now I have even seen evidence of the Old Testament stories that always seemed so far fetched such as the parting of the Red Sea, the burning of the top of Mount Sinai and all of the events in the desert during the Exodus. I have also seen irrefutable evidence of Christ’s life and the history in the New Testament. Aside from these “intellectual things” – the more I read and study, the more meaning the words take on for my life and the more sense it all makes…hence the truth behind what is written. (John 3:33 "Those who believe Him discover that God is true" NLT)

2. You went from having 2 beautiful children to 5 in a matter of months. What advice do you have for those who are starting second marriages and blending families?

The greatest advice is to center your lives upon God – each person seeking a relationship with God first, partner second. Aside from this absolute, place your partner above your children (very hard when blending as there is a protective mechanism that kicks in amazingly fast when children are concerned). Even if it means sacrificing something you think the children “need” to be normal/okay/not screwed up by your mistakes/etc. In time God will bring you together on the issues, and your stability in front of the children is worth far more for their well being than your protecting their daily emotions from events or differences between you and your partner.
God is in the business of relationships and healing. He can do these things for you and for the kids.

Also, make time for yourself as a couple a regular priority (alone time). Allow time for parents to be alone with respective children as well as full family gathering times. Expect the full blending process to take about five to seven years before there is true peace/harmony (according to what I have read, we seem to be going faster but I do attribute that to God), and enter into the relationship with a “crock pot” mentality (hence my blog). Do not microwave the relationship in an effort to prove to others (e.g. former spouses, nay sayers, etc.) that it is working or else it will explode in your face. All people must enter in as they are at that moment, and SLOWLY stew together until there is a tasty blend. Respect differences. Finally,
absolutely honor all extended family (including ex-spouses)at all times but LEAVE and CLEAVE (from parents/siblings/well-meaning friends). It is far more complicated than first marriages and too many people in the mix destines the situation for destruction. Make a pact to stay it through as the times are tough, keeping each other covered from the outside world rather than taking issues outside. It will come full circle.

3. You've had a myriad of jobs over the years from SAHM to Cranio-Sacral therapist. What has been your favorite thus far? Why? Do you hope to do something else as your children get older and more self-sufficient?

Gosh, this is a tough one…I have really enjoyed all of my jobs for so many reasons. I loved starting up the rehab facilities and shifting around/developing programs as a director of rehab/therapist with the nursing homes, but at that time I really missed working with the kids. Doing private practice was awesome in many ways, but high burn out for the intensity.

Being a SAHM is incredible and there are days I long for this still, but I would need to be involved in outside activities and probably home schooling if I weren’t working some as I become a bit tunnel visioned in focus with the children and our home. Actually, I have considered home schooling several times…God has not led me there yet.

I do love manual therapy (cranio-sacral stuff) and wouldn't mind doing this full time from home or near home, but wouldn’t want to be self-employed so it would have to be a unique position as most who do this are self-employed. I loved the pastoral work God called me to for a season, but didn’t feel equipped enough for moving it forward so was glad in a mixed way when he called me out again (I was still young in my Bible studies/faith journey). I also was having difficulty balancing time for my children (as I was involved in this while single parenting) as many of the youth activities were weekend oriented and weeknights involved bible studies and church administrative meetings. I was called out of it right after I was called to marry my husband (and then became pregnant almost immediately), so obviously God had bigger plans for my ministry. :-)

My current job, teaching is probably my favorite at the moment. I am free to do my therapy type things, while working with all ages of kids, and still having a reasonable schedule and summers/holidays off to be with my family. I really can’t beat that. I also am able to practice some manual therapy at home for/with friends and acquaintances who need help so I get to enjoy some of my favorite "traditional" therapy work as well.

I actually think I may write some day when the kids are older, or work as a family or high school guidance counselor somewhere. God has given me gifting in these areas. We will see where it plays out. I think I would enjoy anything along all of these lines (maybe He will place me in a career that blends it all!)

4. You are asked to write a eulogy for your friend who does not believe in God. What would it say?

Since a eulogy is about sharing what was good about someone, I would absolutely lift up the life of my friend first and foremost. I would also stay firm in my belief that God wants all of His children to be reconciled to Him and He invites them, even at the last hour, to accept the truth about His Son or to reject what He has offered. If this is a friend of mine, I would imagine it would be someone who is relatively friendly and open minded, so when confronted with the experiential truth of God’s love while dying (which I most certainly would have been praying for), I would pray that they had accepted Christ, and that they are at that moment experiencing the incredible joy and peace of oneness with our Creator. If they had died in a sudden accident, I would be grieving their lack of faith tremendously, especially since they were a friend whom I would have been sharing the truth with all along. I would most likely be more passionate about exhorting the persons I was delivering the eulogy to about their need for a personal relationship with Christ and the heartfelt desire they all KNOW where they will be when they die.

5. You have the opportunity to develop your own reality show. What would it be? How would you audition? What is the grand prize? (no fair saying you hate reality shows).

This is a tough question…I guess I will stick with the same vein I have been dialoguing on – Christianity. I would develop a show called Challenging Your Christianity (there is so much false religion, it is no wonder people who are non-Christians don’t get the truth). Auditions would be for families (adults are the main players) to submit their resume’s of “why they believe they are faith-filled, authentic Christians.” They would be placed in a mission field of some sort (maybe national e.g. inner-city or way out in areas without running water and electricity, or international with more “typical” mission regions of third world countries) and followed for thirty days. The family/adults that maintained their walk faithfully throughout the challenges of the new environment, while bearing witness of “fruits” of their labors, would be awarded a set amount of money (100,000 maybe) 3/4 of which would go to the mission organization, and 1/4 to the family.

Total Lunar Eclipse

Last night at 4:50 a.m., while most were sleeping, the moon was being totally eclipsed. My former husband called me to let me know it was happening (he knows that I rarely listen to the news) so that I could share it with our girls if I was interested. I chose to make it a special time between myself and my nine year old daughter as my six year old needed more sleep (so I believed) before school, and my nine year old deserved some one on one as it has been hard to come by lately.

I snuck into her room at 4:45 a.m., woke her up, and told her I wanted to show her something. I suggested she grab her bathrobe or blanket and come with me. Mystified, she followed me upstairs to the back deck where we sat snuggled together on our loveseat rocker watching the event. It was a beautiful evening. Bright with the full moon, mild temperatures, though a few clouds. I was initially disappointed in the cloudiness, thinking we may not get to observe the changes, but I prayed that God would bless us.

And what a blessing it was! We spent forty minutes together, watching the sky, talking about the clouds, and noticing how the moonbeams crept out from behind the clouds. It was beautiful and, as always with Creation, amazing. She had never noticed the beams of light before - and not even considered them possible from the moon. Even more fun, the moon was "erased" in an unusual pattern ~ being shadowed from top to bottom. It kind of reminded me of a pacman guy going uphill (for those who remember pac man). We had been talking about the rays of the moon's brilliance sneaking out from behind the clouds in an upward pattern when the eclipse began. Though we didn't fully witness the start we noticed the rays begin to disappear from above the clouds. It was a wonderful opportunity for dialogue about the beauty and majesty of God's gift of creation.

What a blessed morning. Thank you, Steve, for calling me to let me know...and Thank you, Lord, for the fun and interesting moments You have chosen to share with us ~ You who hung the stars and the moon ~ and set the sun on its course ~ none can fathom. Bless You.

Book List

A few people have asked me about my book list. I am a voracious reader. I love to read and often have six or seven books going at a time. I tend to read mostly Christian Books, but not always. I actually just read (in one evening - as it was like candy) a "Christian Romance" double book (e.g. two in one) from the "Love Inspired" line. I did not list it, but it is the most recent bundled one, you can pick it up at Wal Mart. If you are at all into light romance, these are fabulous. I actually used to dislike romance books, preferring mysteries (author Sydney Sheldon) or Action/Drama (Robert Ludlum) as well as Fantasy (Lord of the Rings style). However, as I have gotten busier in life, my light reading has ebbed and my reading for learning (which I love to do) has been my priority.

So, I am posted a recent/current book list should anybody wonder about books I have read or am reading. I would love to hear about your experience with these books, or your questions about them. I would also love to hear from you about what you have read that you think I might enjoy. Our wonderful pastor (blog here) had suggested I read Dallas Willard after I spoke to him about author Henri Nouwen whom I had read this spring. I took him up on this and started reading a Willard book (was actually able to get my covenant discipleship group to read it together which was even better). This book is The Divine Conspiracy. I have thoroughly enjoyed it, but it has been a tough one to get into and chew on. He is very deep and packs a lot of information into each paragraph. I find that this one I cannot read at night when I am tired.

I have just edited my list to star the ones currently reading (you can encourage me to complete them if you have read and liked them). I am good at starting books, but finishing often takes longer. Actually, one of my goals this summer was to finish a few books (which I met, thanks be to God and his provision of time), and I will be posting fewer as the school year progresses. I finished a couple of the ones on my list this past week, and hope to finish the others mid-fall. I will also remove ones that I have read more than four or five months ago as I continue this blog.
Anyone looking for an interesting take on finding Christ, that reads fairly easy, would enjoy Blue Like Jazz. It is about the author's journey toward God and clarity of what being a Christian is all about and I found it really centered in truths about today's culture.

Thanks to everyone who has commented to me about this blog site. I will try to answer questions in my posts as I go. I should have a bit more time to post as the year moves forward, but can't promise anything. My family always comes first in the priority cycle of free time. I look forward to more of your input ~ I love interaction and if I can encourage in any way, I am priveleged. Bless you all ~ and Happy Reading. :-)

Goodbye, Little One

I made the heartbreaking decision to put my dog to sleep this week. He has been a faithful part of my life for the past fifteen years...before either of my marriages were even a thought. I am going to miss the little guy.

Rowan came to me when I was running a rehab department at a nursing home. One of the head nurses brought he and his brothers to work one day to distribute them to people who had offered to take them. The young gal who was supposed to take Rowan had a change of heart, and he was left without a "home" to go to. Being the softie that I am (I had NEVER wanted a dog prior to this, mind you, I lived alone in a small townhouse with two cats and was gone much of every day), I took him home. He came home in a shoebox, and didn't even fill it.

Sweet little thing used to travel with me everywhere and anywhere. He laid on my sports bag at soccer games, dutifully watching until we finished playing. He accompanied me on many trips around the area to visit friends, and, while I was working, he managed to get me to come home a few times per day to potty train him when he was young (he accomplished this by persistently showing me his frustration with my being gone). He was a smart dog and knew well how to communicate with me. Many times I could almost swear he understood every word I said.

Rowan accompanied me through many changes, and did not complain when he was ousted by marriages, moves, babies, added children...each change he adapted to and welcomed after a period of adjustment. Three years ago he allowed our new kittens to pounce upon him and play with him ~ and would even offer a bit of play in return, ambushing them on occasion when they came around a corner~ treating them as if her were a grandpa and knew his role was important. His siblings had died (two other cats I had when he arrived to our family) and the new cats were much younger and friskier, but he was indulgent and tolerant despite his age. It was sweet to observe.

Rowan was a social dog. He always greeted everyone with a smile (often mistaken for a snarl), and loved to make a round of the immediate vicinity, visiting our neighbors each day before retiring to his bed. Rowan always protected our family and home first and foremost, and I will hold many fond memories of his standing guard positions...Once he was released by me that all was well, he shifted into a happy social dog again. My former husband used to say, how can a dog who is small enough to step on scare people?? But, he did - his bark and growl were ferocious when he was protective, and if someone were at the door who didn't know him, they expected a very large dog to accompany me when I opened. Instead they got a tiny dog (yorki pooh) who ran out the door, tail wagging, jumping up in greeting. Quite a dichotomy.

I found myself yesterday looking to prevent him from running out to greet the family walking their dog (which was always accompanied by my shout "Rowan, come back here!" and his making a loop, being sure to extend his greeting first) ~ totally unaware of how startling he was to people. If I were to sum up his temperament, I would have to call him Jekyll and Hyde to most people who knew him; "Rowan one and Rowan two" as a former landlord who watched him used to say...but to me he was always sweet Rowan. He trusted me, and in his last days he barely left my heels in his insecurity at his body discomfort.

God bless you, little one. Thank you for the many years you gave faithfully of your love and care. You will be well missed by those of us who knew you.

Wii fun...

While I was visiting my sister in Chicago, she purchased her husband Nintendo's new "Wii" game system for his birthday. Being a reticent gamer already (I got rid of the original Nintendo just five years ago and we have a Playstation... first version), I wondered what the draw was of this newer, selling like hotcakes, set up. I am not against video games (I personally can spend hours playing solitaire type games on the computer, and used to be highly addicted to Nintendo's Dr. Mario...) but I do notice how isolating they are, and I try to keep a limit on my children's time spent staring at the screen playing in parallel lives versus interacting.

Well, Wii has changed my perception a bit. Not only is it fabulously fun to create the faces and bodies of each family member (I have to tell you, some of the characters were such close caricatures), but it is actually interactive! Truly a great shift from the current norm. I watched the boys and their dad play before leaving Chicago, but didn't get a chance to experience the gaming fully since it arrived the day before my departure. However, my sister brought it to Hilton Head and we all got a turn in the fun.

The game comes with a sports program - golf, tennis, baseball, bowling. You are actually holding the remote and swinging arms and legs in the way your character needs to move to create the hit/bowl/pitch/swing. There is more physical movement than just fingers and thumbs - it is a standing, full body game. We rotated sports and players - up to four per game - so everyone in our family old enough (e.g. five and above) got a chance. Eleven kids (three were too young), two college students, and eight adults played at various levels. I bowled against my dad and brother and had a blast. Of course, smoking them helped me laugh through the experience, but I think I would have been delighted regardless. It was truly FUN. We had a cheering section, a coaching section, and lots of laughs and encouragement of one another. I have never previously experienced this type of interaction with video games.

Am I going to purchase one for my family?? No, probably not. I will continue to be the "mean and boring mom" who prefers my children to play outside, tromp through the woods, build forts, use imagination, and stay off the television...but I will say that I can easily see the draw and would enjoy playing if we owned one. The addiction compulsion and bickering about playing is still there - whose turn, who gets to choose, etc. This is something I have always steered away from with the kids, but the interaction and semblance of sportsmanship and teamwork is great. The only drawback I can see is that now that the game is so popular, Nintendo has decided to go ahead and evolve a mature rating game to participate on this system. See plugged in online for details. Too bad. This one is a great opportunity for clean family fun; it didn't need to dive into our immoral culture. But, that is our world's capitalism, I suppose...What a shame.