The "Better" Divorce...(is there one??)

Today was "Donuts for Dad" in my daughter's kindergarten class. I was early in pregnancy with this daughter when her dad and I separated. Her teacher needed three moms to come in and honor the dads by serving. I was one of the volunteers. I had a few people question me ~ why do they question genuine caring? I fear our world is so mixed up about priorities. Why wouldn't I serve my former husband? Why wouldn't I show my daughter how important her dad is to our family? Why wouldn't I encourage him to participate first, before asking her stepdad if he had been unavailable? The good news ~ my daughter did not even question my being there in the slightest. She didn't know I had voluteered, so she was surprised and excited to see me; it didn't cross her mind that this was odd. It was natural and comfortable for her ~ as it should be. When they took pictures for the kids memory books, I was happy to stand in with her and her dad when she asked. I then quietly stepped out and asked that they take another with she and her dad alone (since they were planning on giving the dad's copies as well as putting a copy in the kids end of the year memory books).

I pray daily to have a good relationship with my kids and their father. I pray that one day there will be even more fluency between us than we have now. My kids muse about how wonderful it would be if their dad and stepmom lived next door on one side and my husbands kids and thier family lived on the other side. I join in that musing with an "absolutely ~ that would be awesome!" And I mean it...at least in the same neighborhood; maybe not right next door. :-)
I would love to have everyone live closer. It would provide a stronger foundation of support for the children, alleviate some of the challenges with "switching homes" related to hurts when leaving, etc (especially for my step kids who get time in big chunks versus regular weekends) and teach us all to grow through things in a better way. I think they should mandate this type of relationship, if at all possible. It should be a law that all parents will try to love one another despite differences and difficulties that led to divorce. Our children, and our culture, desperately need this. I pray even more that families would consider all avenues of counsel, self-assessment and ownership of 1/2 the difficulties, etc. before ever moving forward with a divorce.

We are a product of our own selfish desires run amuck in society. We need to start looking at the big picture...and, if we know God ~ thinking eternally and trusting Him for the outcomes versus taking them on ourselves. I've learned my lessons well, I pray I can stop some people from making big mistakes and encourage them to see the truth for what it is. We do so need a change.