Musings

MUSINGS

Tears freely flow

From puddles to gulleys;

Grooves etched into the tree...

Inner torments,

Conflicting thoughts;

Nobody really sees "me"

Dutiful daughter, beloved friend

Words, but what do they mean?

Mother, teacher, encourager...

Now that's a pretty fine scene.

More designations, marring the canvas...

Painting an odd shade of gray,

Selfish, ugly, controlling, unkind

Even abusive, "they" say.

Do labels define me? I wonder anew,

As contradictory words are spoken...

And if they do, which ones are true?

Surely some are broken...

How can I be each of these?

"I don't understand," I sigh

I just want to be happy and free

But life simply will not comply...

"You bring it on yourself," they say;

Those who "know" more than I...

"Change your attitude, Fix your behavior"

"I would...," is my reply;

I would, but how? I silently muse,

Feeling more trapped by the day...

"You're unfixable, a mess," my mind screams to me;

Everyone else knows "the way."

More pain wells up, futility leers,

My thoughts are filled with deep shame ~

My soul turns to winter, cutting off life;

I'm surely no match for this game...

Numbing winds howl, chilling my bones

As ice slowly forms in my heart;

The cracks in the path have frozen somehow,

Roughly resembling fine art.

But oh, as they freeze, something happens inside;

With pressure that's too strong to bear...

I had forgotten how water expands

Each time it's mixed with cold air ~

Those cracks, they get wider, and light starts to shine,

Exposing what lies below ~

Rigid exterior, atop pliant fields

A tender voice beckons, "Let go."

Let go of the lies, the voice seems to say,

Ever so softly and kind

You've hurt far enough and struggled so hard,

It's time for a fresh change of mind.

This voice carries wisdom, authority,

And palpable presence, to boot...

Much firmer and clearer than any I've heard,

Quite passionate with its pursuit ~

Its tenderness ministers a new type of thought;

Whispering words, "Oh child, I have seen"

You may think you are all that they say,

But they really know not what they mean.

The other reality, behind the veil

Holds so much more than you've heard

How glorious its colors and sweet its sounds ~

How remarkable it's Word..

Not meant to be depicted by others,

Nor constrained by false words of man...

I am your Master, Creator and Friend ~

I'm in all, I'm glorious, I AM

As to the failings that you perceive,

Oh daughter, it delights me so ~

You see my child, you weren't meant to be

All that's needed to manage your show...

No, precious one, you're intended for more

Oh, so much more than you know...

You were fashioned to climb a mountain so high

And run races some choose to forego...

You were made to reflect My beauty and joy

Far beyond your external shell;

Sharing love deeper than man's understanding

A love only I know so well ~

Temperance and virtue for your resting place,

Joy and delight in your play...

Peace is your gift to My precious world

Oh Child, let Me light the way...

Lift high your head and raise up your eyes,

Know My pleasure, and dance

Rejoice as you see, you really are free;

Released from all happenstance.

Released of the burdens your labels have brought

Unconstrained by non-entity

No longer imprisoned by shackles and chains

Apprised of identity...

I Am here, I Am real, and I love you so

Stop believing the lies and the mocking...

You are precious beloved, blessed and assured,

Oh why can you not hear Me knocking?

Don't let the world deceive your sweet mind,

Don't let "them" drive you down ~

You are a daughter of the King of Kings

And within you, My heart is your crown.

Be free, my child, walk proudly in Me,

Knowing that all this is true

For I am not a man who can lie,

And I purposefully created you ~

Know you are loved, Know I am near

Find rest in Me each new day ~

Walk in My Spirit, drink of My fountain

To Me all of life is play ~

Be pleased to frolic, take delight in joy ~

You need shed not one tear;

I gave My only Son for you,

That I might draw you near.

I gave Him for you,

That you could live;

I gave to conquer lies...

I gave Him that

We might share life;

And this is no surprise...

For Artists love their handiwork;

They revel in it so;

And I love you, sweet daughter

I truly want you to know.

Know in your heart, and in your mind...

Discern from head to toe~

So when the storms of life appear,

Your tears will have new flow;

They'll flow of life,

And flow of hope,

They'll flow in peaceful joy~

For in your trials and sufferings

You'll come to know

My Boy ~