Weary ~

Okay,
So God finally gave clear direction about next year. My husband came home a few weeks ago to tell me that he believed Home Schooling was what Michelle needed and I should begin next fall. I was elated and my daughter was thrilled.

Now...my former husband is NOT okay with this. I have tried to be very open and explanatory with him as well as accountable to all of my reasons and the school SOL requirements for next year. I had pitched it to him a year ago as something I was considering and at that time all he had against it was socialization according to our discussion.

Now, he is staunchly refusing to support this decision. I am grieved and heartsick with the constancy of struggles related to our divorce. We have completely different lifestyles and values. He cannot see our daughter's need for the things she is not recieving yet seeks out frequently from me. A need that I have been praying about and crying about for several years in seeking how God would minister to her.

She also has a bona fide learning disability, which I sensed over and over, but could get nobody in the schools, nor her dad, to agree. Each time I have sought help I have been told it is her lack of focus and nothing more. She just "underperforms" because she "doesn't concentrate/doesn't want to do it." Well, after outside testing I had done recently, she has now been officially "diagnosed." She fits the profile for GT/LD (gifted and learning challenged). She also has significant emotional issues related to her body make up, the divorce, and her need for her dad's love and approval. This has caused much grief in her life and continues with a vengeance...this was also noted in the evaluation that was completed.

Home schooling is what makes the most sense - both emotionally to support her, as well as intellectually (not to mention spiritually, but her dad balks at the very mention of God when that is brought up, so I have kept my discussions with him related to mostly intellect, some emotional). I am TRAINED in her very area of disability. I work with kids with similar issues every day at my job in the private school. I also home school her nearly every day after school because of her needs. He doesn't see any of that, his comment today is similar to the school's comments to me over the years - "her grades are okay, I don't see a need for it."

I am trusting God on this one. He brought us to it, He will bring it to pass if indeed we heard Him correctly. She has asked for it for years, but cannot stand in the face of her dad's resistance as it puts her into an emotional bind. I cannot ask her to stand in court if he takes it to court as it will break her in two. Do we press through the emotional distress now to feed the needs she really has, or do we acquiese to her dad's refusal in order to keep the peace?

Pray for wisdom for me, please. I am so sad tonight. All I want is what is best for Michelle, but I don't know clearly how and what right now. In following what I was led to believe was clearly for her, I have run into a brick wall of prejudice...I wish I knew what was right.

Bo said we need to pray and see if this is the wrong decision. While I always agree that prayer is important, I am also frustrated, because it was through ongoing prayer that we were led to this decision in the first place. Neither of us was for home schooling years ago. I want to pray to seek God's power to stand firm in this decision, as well as His power to change the heart of her dad, since He was who turned our hearts and minds to this plan. If reading this, I would be greatly appreciative if you would lift up your voice for a brief moment to our LORD and ask Him to speak His words into my heart ~ thank you. Be blessed today ~